Every couple struggles at some point. In a relationship with two humans, there are bound to be disagreements and occasional hurt feelings. Sometimes though, we get to the point where it feels like there is more pain than love. We get so stuck in a negative cycle of fighting or drifting apart that we aren’t sure we’ll ever be able to reconnect.
I am trained in emotionally focused therapy (EFT) the couples therapy with the highest rate of sustained change for clients. We’ll start by exploring the cycle that you are caught in, then we will work on changing it so that you are more connected. I won’t waste your time focusing on communication techniques that only help you “argue prettier” as one client told me. Instead, we will get to the root of the challenge, address the pain and find healing.
Research studies find that 70-75% of couples in EFT move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements.
What’s the process for emotion focused therapy?
At your first appointment, we will talk about the history of your relationship and what brings you into therapy. I’ll ask a ton of questions to help me get a really good idea about where you’re at. Then, I will meet with each partner individually to hear about their history and their struggle. After that, we will start working to figure out and slow down the negative cycle enough to reconnect. Most couples who successfully complete EFT will see a therapist 8 – 20 times but that can vary significantly based on what you bring to the table and how invested each of you is.
We were made to handle hard things but we were not created to handle them alone.
I remember the day I fell in love with emotion focused therapy. It was the day I learned that this therapy has been proven to help parents of kids with special needs, a group I belong to and one that is notorious for high rates of divorce. I love that EFT allows couples facing devastation ranging from difficult diagnoses, affairs, post adoption regret, or almost any type of pain, to heal together. We create a space where each partner can feel heard and safe, even when the outside world is still chaotic.
If you want to learn more about EFT and it’s research support, you can find that here.
Does online couples counseling work?
It does! Not everyone is a great fit for online couples counseling, that’s why we have a free consultation, but many couples love it. You can meet in the comfort of your own home without having to hire a babysitter. You can both log in from separate locations if one of you is out of town. Many couples actually say that they get more out of therapy when it is done online because they feel more comfortable being in their own environment.